How to become a terrorist for less

I know most of you are opposed to terrorism as a practice, because some of you genuinely know that it is bad (and why), and most of you are brainwashed in thinking it is bad (with little justification of the fact, besides „it’s them Vs. US”). However, if you don’t have billions of dollars, (or just millions, and an election coming up) terrorism might be an easy way of influence. What is that catch, you ask? In other words,: why are we all still working 9 to 5 instead of being terrorists? Well first of all, it costs money. It also requires that you kill people and put yourself at risk of arrest or death, but mostly it’s the money. So how do you solve 2 of the 3 problems (you still might get arrested)?

Here is what I propose:

1. You pick some ultra-green agenda (you can also pick up a „secondary” political agenda, but it will have to be someone at least mildly green).
2. You announce that you have close ties with the nature spirit itself (Gaia is a popular name, but feel free to come up with one of your own)
3. Whenever there’s a natural disaster- claim credit! Use any rationale why you (and the NS) were pissed at that particular country. Lie if you have to, but try to keep it real.
4. Profit*!

One final word of advice though- don’t try to steal members form green terrorists already in place (such as Green Peace), they will eat you alive and make a show of it on national television.

*) sorry, it was either this, or „there’s no number 7” joke.