How to become a terrorist for less

I know most of you are opposed to terrorism as a practice, because some of you genuinely know that it is bad (and why), and most of you are brainwashed in thinking it is bad (with little justification of the fact, besides „it’s them Vs. US”). However, if you don’t have billions of dollars, (or just millions, and an election coming up) terrorism might be an easy way of influence. What is that catch, you ask? In other words,: why are we all still working 9 to 5 instead of being terrorists? Well first of all, it costs money. It also requires that you kill people and put yourself at risk of arrest or death, but mostly it’s the money. So how do you solve 2 of the 3 problems (you still might get arrested)?

Here is what I propose:

1. You pick some ultra-green agenda (you can also pick up a „secondary” political agenda, but it will have to be someone at least mildly green).
2. You announce that you have close ties with the nature spirit itself (Gaia is a popular name, but feel free to come up with one of your own)
3. Whenever there’s a natural disaster- claim credit! Use any rationale why you (and the NS) were pissed at that particular country. Lie if you have to, but try to keep it real.
4. Profit*!

One final word of advice though- don’t try to steal members form green terrorists already in place (such as Green Peace), they will eat you alive and make a show of it on national television.

*) sorry, it was either this, or „there’s no number 7” joke.

Soy-based discoveries.

I hope you've all seen the 1973 movie called "Soylent Green". If you haven't I suggest you stop reading, because apparently it's a classic (judging by the amount of spoofs of that motion picture), so you will want to watch it, and I will ruin the ending for you.
Seriously: Go Away!
If you're still here I can only assume, you either saw the movie or don't care much for it. However to give you one last chance to run, I will quickly recap the movie (for those of you, who like me, forget the names of movies they watch). It's loosely based on H. Harrison's Novel "make room, make room!" and depicts an overpopulated future, where soviet style communal flats are almost ubiquitous, and African style water riots are not unheard of either. The main character is a detective looking into the murder of a politician. And there's this new cool produce (food) called Soylent green (made by Soylent corporation, not out of lent soy). And the incredible shocking truth is that... Soylent green is people! Well, duh.
I don't mean by name, it could be "McAntropos", or Pizza "koolizza", but eating processed people is completely natural in the circumstances depicted, and has been practiced for centuries in protein low corners of our earth. In fact I have to admit that when instead of saying "we'll take him to the morgue", or "tell the daughter to pick the body up, or we'll charge for storage", the guys who took the body at the beginning of the movie said "we'll send him to processing", I had little doubt about what "processing" meant. Did you? Maybe not, but did you really find that to be a shocking discovery?
Hey, I can understand the cultural barrier, "a more civilized time" and all that jazz. But, I swear, every few months someone says it, like it was the biggest revelation of their life- "OMFG! S0yl3nt gr33n = ppl!". Well here's another spoiler for you- in Planet of the apes, THEY ARE ON EARTH!

P.S. Before you accuse me of hindsight effect, I'd like to tell you that at the moment of watching, I only knew there was supposed to be a twist at the end, and not what it was.

P.P.S. upon giving it more thought, I have found that the moment I was sure they were making people steaks must have been after the scene where Sol is watching a nature show in that euthanasia place. Which is very similar (for obvious reasons) to the scene of humane turkey killing in SouthPark episode "Helen Keller, the musical", which I did see before SG. the mind works in mysterious ways, doesn't it?

Liberty at gunpoint

The following phrase is usually attributed to Ben Franklin: "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for dinner. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote”. Does anyone else find this phrase dubious? I will leave the democracy joke aside for now, and focus on the liberty.
So, dear Ben, am I to understand that when a small group of separatists armed with guns take over the parliament and demand that any obligation that elected representatives had put on them (such as feeding everyone) are to be considered null and void, etc… that is ok? In fact- that is the epitome of liberty?
Well, Mr. Franklin, to me that sounds like a sign of severe political unrest at best. And at its worst and much more probable, the Lambs are staging a coup, and will proceed with the usual usurping of power and killing of loyalists in the coming months. The wolves, who were democratic for all their misgivings, are looking at a military dictatorship. How is that for liberty?
Though in Benjamin’s defense I must admit that unlike some of his contemporaries he thought more than he talked, and made sure that the wolves (white landowners) were always armed and the lambs(women, slaves, Indians et. al) were continuing to provide sustenance. Well done, Ben, very well done!